The time when I was born held lots of opportunities to look forward to.
As I, in the age of two, came to a care-mothers house, I faced that these opportunities didn’t hold very caring, but brutal and superior supervisors for me.
They did not want to even know about my autism. So they didn’t.
When I entered school, I faced that teachers weren’t very ambitioned to teach but compel or just pass over me.
School mates weren’t making friends or supporting but treating me like ‘the alien’, a thing that would immediately pull a lasergun or start using psi-force on them. Their parents did not give a flip about if I was interested in them or not and finally I’ve got used to being a victim of constant bullies, deprivation or physical attacks.
As I entered to highschool it got worse.
A constant torture through teachers, pupils and at least…
..my own family.
Why? I talked, moved and looked different from them,
I did not shout, did not fight, I loved ‘unloveable things’ and smiled insecurely or turned my eyes down.
The day I started my vocational training – the same.
But I learned.
I forced myself to lift my gaze and
interact the way the others did.
But this time I was old enough to make this my decision.
Today I have two friends, I know over a long period of time and I do –
somedays good, somedays bad to cope with my environment.
I even work hard on a relationship to make it a real partnership with a balanced giving and taking.
All this, because I feel it can be very rewarding and I really do feel love for these people.
I don’t hold a gun in my closet, waiting for payment day.
I don’t even really have a feeling of wishing someone bad who hurted me.
Revenge is one unlogical nonsense to me, that isn’t rewarding in any way.
And I don’t feel like proving this to anyone either. The press puts autistics under a kind of pressure to do so.
Now I am here. After so many years of being denied, mistreated and violated.
Now I am here and all over the world there’s a misconception spread by uninformed, uninvolved journalists who teach the people to fear and hate me.
The Asperger autistic they don’t know.
“Aspergers seem to live in a self-centered and almost fascist world”, they say.
Oh! It never crossed my mind, that I bullied, denied, ignored, robbed and raped myself for thirty years.
Why the heck do I still care for others, if it’s just me – in a vacuum?
Yesterday the European elections took place. Well now, I must come to the conclusion, that it must have only been Aspergers voting Aspergers into the new fascist parliament.
Maybe this is our only way to get attention of the rest of fascists instead of pulling the trigger 24/7. (Gets exhausting at times.)
But maybe, too, you’d do better to watch the Elliott Rogers inside yourself(?)
This is how easy people are.
(Who ARE these folks, reading and believing this bullshit away from the spot, never questioning these journalists credibility?)
This is how simple their minds are made.
This is how they make the world.
It’s not a crime, being Asperger autistic. But it now definately means