Since I read the blogposts of Amy Sequenzia, I have a much more detailed reflection of another body with autistic soul (or was it the other way `round?) than my own.
When autism REALLY speaks: A lively example for self advocacy.
lol conflating disability and DEATH so casually that nobody but disabled ppl notices.
I remember being in high school and not being surewhy, exactly, college had to be a thing, because I was going to be dead by the time I was thirty.
(Two-thirds of the way there and I still can’t see more than ten years down the line and maybe, maybe a small part of what I’m doing is motivated bynow or never, I’ll do this right.)
Why would I be dead by the time I was thirty? Well, every other girl like me never seemed to make it to womanhood, it only stood to reason.
At some point, and I’ve told this story so many times and it never stops making me want to…
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“Well, isn’t it strange, that some people are willing to accept a dog in their family, but will have problems to accept their own child?” (Michael Jackson)
What’s going on in one autistic mind, reading about autism in the media from one day to another? There have been times, not a single bird would have sung about a child with Kanner or Asperger autism. And especially not about a grown up.
Today researchers, journalists and even ‘wild activisting parents’ won’t give us a tiny space of peace in the internet or news.
One classification about autism haunts the other, we can’t help it.
And what’s going on, in an autistic mind, reading and hearing words of “healing the disease”, “vaccines” or such as “a burden” from parents of autistics over and over again?
I can’t tell you, what’s going on in other autistic minds, but I can give you a glance on what’s going on in my own.
It is not your responsibility, that your child is autistic.
It is his/her own merit.
But it is your responsibility, how you will treat him/her.
It is your responsibility, because it was you, who decided to give life.
It is your resposibility how the first feelings towards your person will build inside his/her chest, no matter if you can see them or not.
When have you “seen” all the feelings of your husband or your mother lately?
It is your responsibility to act reflected and responsible with another person’s secret emotions.
When have other grown ups shown and told you their independent and entire love all at once, while looking in your eyes? Your best friend for example?
You don’t expect them to, because you know they do?
So give me ONE damit reason for why the hell you expect that of your child?
You are the adult.
You know how things grow and bloom in life and how they fail and that pain, failure and dissappointed expectations belong to it.
I hear of many parents: “My son hasn’t come into my arms once. The doctor said he is autistic.” When the parents are asked about their childrens age, most of these kids talked about are less than four years old. So when the child has been assumed autistic, we know by now:
Children with autism CAN have an extended time, developing things.
So why aren’t they worth the time?
Children with autism DO HAVE a different expression!
So why aren’t they worth YOU learn their language, while they are having a hard time learning yours?
Children with autism HAVE a complete different sensory.
So why don’t you learn their way of “touching the world”?
Can’t you probably love your child? Do you have problems finding empathy for him/her? (This is exactly what you blame your child for and it IS the SAME THING, you don’t have priorities in your abilities.)
Before you are making a great disease out of your child and yourself and start listening to doctors and professors who make it even the ‘worst case’…
how about start listening to yourself? What’s your expectation? Do you find your expectations good, related to your taken responsibility? How would you feel someone to expect the same things of you?
Does anyone have further thoughts? Post here in blueprints.
Questions and answers:
We have heard and read a lot about this subject all over the world wide web now. But if you would collect the tabloids, you would find the same statements all over again. Why?
Can the press say something new about autism?
Can researchers do something else than trying to manipulate genes and invent the ideal human?
Can pills cure true diseases?
Can we find other ways to communicate?
In the future, I will build a blog for Aspies and all interested individuals in here. All written lyrics will be free for everyone to copy and spread. Further I want to build up a “press” for Aspies for a better expression, for identification of misinterpretations of the world press and institutions about autistic people. I am Aspie myself and I want to break a long kept silence about the picture that was painted about AS.
Especially lately, a lot of bad propaganda gone through the media, which concerns alleged studies. I think it`s time to form an opposite pole.
I grew up with other children of many different neurologies. Three of them on the autistic spectrum, including myself. I have never had problems to communicate with them, whether on a nonverbal or a verbal way. We’ve learned sign-language at an early age and had a very social interaction towards each other. We loved each other. Because nobody loved us, our high level of empathy towards each other made us survive. Our care-mother was a very violent person who punished and tortured us over eighteen years. We had to function the way she wanted it. But because we couldn’t, we had to stand the torture. At some days we did not speak a word, though words would have been there to share…our surroundings silenced us. At home and in school we’ve got the ‘slightly retarded’ label very quickly and so there was nothing more to expect of us. At some days we’ve been glad about being unseen. We’ve lived in our own little world. My caresister and I hided away on playgrounds, parking-places and on the balcony of my room and turned back home as late as possible just not to show up in this hateful environment, in hope we would not give anyone a reason to shout on us or spank us for nothing. As a child, I have never learned to feel empathy on neurotypical people as I felt for my allies, because I never got the chance to. As I grew up, I started to realize, that something essential was missing and so I put a lot of effort into this learning process, so I could understand nonautistic people on a better level. Today I still have my problens with it, but they are not priority anymore and often invisible. This invisibility causes me great suffering sometimes, but I have a deep feeling of thankfulness, that my communication with neurotypicals functions much better and this is what I think about when I feel left alone and depressed. But the fight against depressions often feels in vain, when I get to read the news on autism research. And it feels completely senseless, when I hear the ‘missing-empathy’-arguments of neurotypical people, because they would never put that much effort and work or even the time into learning empathy towards autistic people. It’s easier to remain on the predjudice, that all autistics have a lack of empathy and ignore their great emotional ability of keeping a deep empathy for those in the same or even a more difficult situation.If each of them would have a day of being empathic to each little thing existing and seing it through eyes free of premade opinions, this would truly be a place of much more acceptance, where everyone could find a little love and less research required.
Boycott Autism Speaks and start listening to those talked about.