Where they’ve gone (for #lovenotfear by Ruuby May Blue)

“Everything is okay, Beth”, they tell her.
“Look at all the things you’ve got!”, they tell her.
Beth is a 24 years old Kanner autistic woman, who loves coffee, Michael Jackson and painting flowers all day. She works in an art and handcrafting studio for disabled people and likes it a lot.
But when the clock turns 3 pm, her face gets a different expression. She says: “I’m gonna miss you.”
“I’m gonna come see you again, Beth.”, I answer.
“But I am always alone.”
I know. I am autistic myself. There can be great people around you, they’ll always try to support a disability instead of you, the autistic. They get, that you have needs that differ from their own. And those are so exhausting and impossible to cover up. So they’d forget about understanding them.
But they’d never get the point to support you, like a friend, a daughter, or a partner and let you experience the same understanding. Because thinking in different patterns and using the heart to listen, ain’t an option.
Their exhaustion places on top of the communications agenda they note for you.
And so you’ll be left with those halfly hearted words.
“But it’s not true; you’re not alone.”
“But your xyz loves you!”
No. They don’t love me. They love me in their minds. They love me in a fairytale.
But the love you experience in your everyday life is a privilege, I will never get.

And so Beth comes to work, starting to cry.
“My mom has so much things to do,
my mom can’t help me either.”
Her mom has so much things to do since years. She did not visit the studio in between a time period of two years.
She came to see two exhibitions of her daughter, telling the people stupid nonsense about autism (don’t know the heck where she catched it…Autism Speaks?). The rest of the time she spends to sooth Beth’s anger about sitting home alone every single afternoon, stimming time away, and it turns to depression.

Will they ever understand?
No.
Let’s face the truth, they will always see disablity and forget about getting to know the person, learning, talking to you…
They will stop explaining things, once they failed.
They will touch you like a piece of wood and wonder about your stimming or your overload over and over again.
They will stop interacting with you.
They will make you live the curse of a loveless life,
until the day they might get special needs.

But wait…I am wrong! I don’t have a loveless life.
Ironically it’s Beth who gives me the feeling of true love and support. For some little moments in a long life time, I finally feel completely seen and taken and loved as and for the person I am.

She does not need to say “I love you.” She does.
And that’s what makes her a part of my life.
Parents, friends, partners…they passed me running in anxcious cry for help.
Now I grew up without them.
Now I let them run.

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Infolink: Why autismwomensnetwork will not support ‘Autism Speaks’

http://autismwomensnetwork.org/article/corporate-supporters-autism-speaks

Neurotypical medial ways of communication & empathy – a helpful ideal?

“Well, isn’t it strange, that some people are willing to accept a dog in their family, but will have problems to accept their own child?” (Michael Jackson)

What’s going on in one autistic mind, reading about autism in the media from one day to another? There have been times, not a single bird would have sung about a child with Kanner or Asperger autism. And especially not about a grown up.
Today researchers, journalists and even ‘wild activisting parents’ won’t give us a tiny space of peace in the internet or news.
One classification about autism haunts the other, we can’t help it.
And what’s going on, in an autistic mind, reading and hearing words of “healing the disease”, “vaccines” or such as “a burden” from parents of autistics over and over again?
I can’t tell you, what’s going on in other autistic minds, but I can give you a glance on what’s going on in my own.

It is not your responsibility, that your child is autistic.
It is his/her own merit.
But it is your responsibility, how you will treat him/her.
It is your responsibility, because it was you, who decided to give life.
It is your resposibility how the first feelings towards your person will build inside his/her chest, no matter if you can see them or not.
When have you “seen” all the feelings of your husband or your mother lately?
It is your responsibility to act reflected and responsible with another person’s secret emotions.
When have other grown ups shown and told you their independent and entire love all at once, while looking in your eyes? Your best friend for example?
You don’t expect them to, because you know they do?
So give me ONE damit reason for why the hell you expect that of your child?
You are the adult.
You know how things grow and bloom in life and how they fail and that pain, failure and dissappointed expectations belong to it.

I hear of many parents: “My son hasn’t come into my arms once. The doctor said he is autistic.” When the parents are asked about their childrens age, most of these kids talked about are less than four years old. So when the child has been assumed autistic, we know by now:

Children with autism CAN have an extended time, developing things.
So why aren’t they worth the time?

Children with autism DO HAVE a different expression!
So why aren’t they worth YOU learn their language, while they are having a hard time learning yours?

Children with autism HAVE a complete different sensory.
So why don’t you learn their way of “touching the world”?

Can’t you probably love your child? Do you have problems finding empathy for him/her? (This is exactly what you blame your child for and it IS the SAME THING, you don’t have priorities in your abilities.)

Before you are making a great disease out of your child and yourself and start listening to doctors and professors who make it even the ‘worst case’…
how about start listening to yourself? What’s your expectation? Do you find your expectations good, related to your taken responsibility? How would you feel someone to expect the same things of you?

Does anyone have further thoughts? Post here in blueprints.

Questions and answers:
We have heard and read a lot about this subject all over the world wide web now. But if you would collect the tabloids, you would find the same statements all over again. Why?
Can the press say something new about autism?
No.
Can researchers do something else than trying to manipulate genes and invent the ideal human?
No.
Can pills cure true diseases?
No.

Can we find other ways to communicate?
Yes.

An opposite pole against the press propaganda

image  In the future, I will build a blog for Aspies and all interested individuals in here. All written lyrics will be free for everyone to copy and spread. Further I want to build up a “press” for Aspies for a better expression, for identification of misinterpretations of the world press and institutions about autistic people. I am Aspie myself and I want to break a long kept silence about the picture that was painted about AS.
Especially lately, a lot of bad propaganda gone through the media, which concerns alleged studies. I think it`s time to form an opposite pole.